Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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