dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
smell my finger.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
