his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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