I want to stick my p in your. b.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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