none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
