It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
