I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
