He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
