I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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