dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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