You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
