Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
