why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
