So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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