I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
