Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
