I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
