Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
