Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
my shit smells like andre
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
