This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
