The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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