What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
