It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
