Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
