your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
