there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Let's paint friendship bongs
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
