I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
