If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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