there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
