just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
