i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
