I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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