Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Randomize
