How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
