I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
