Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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