Who did Billy Mays play for?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I need water and some morals
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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