i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
