that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
