one might say we're banned from that church
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
