Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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