She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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