Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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