She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
