he's gonorrhea incarnate
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
