dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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