I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
