I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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