I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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