bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
