well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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